Drug Overdoses! Full-Frontal Nudity! Why I hate the Kardashian family--and why you should too

 Note: As promised, this blog will no longer be only about food. While I do have a day job as a magazine writer and blogger, some of the writing I consider my best goes unpublished or unnoticed. From now on, "The View From 206" will be home to some of these musings, which cover everything from entertainment to health trends.

Drug overdoses! Full-frontal nudity! I will grant the Kardashian clan one thing: they never run out of zany new ways to get America talking. About them. All the time. It’s as if the entire family gathers around the breakfast table in the morning and kicks around ideas about how they can become the top story of the day. (Including, but not limited to: short-lived “marriages” to NBA players, births broadcast live from the delivery room, and underage girls partying hard and working the stripper pole.)

At the end of the day, the Queen of All Publicity Stunts, Kris Jenner, browses Twitter and gossip rags to see if that day’s antics attracted sufficient attention. And that’s by her standards, not ours—most people don’t expect to be followed by crowds of eager photographers each time they hit the gym for yoga class. (Luckily, the Kardashian sisters only attend “hot” yoga, “naked” yoga, or “tantric” yoga, and they conveniently discuss it in earshot of the paparazzi, just in case they’d like to follow them there.) They also plaster themselves on highway billboards, advertisements, and magazine covers—apparently to cover their bases and make sure everyone in America is looking at them, willingly or not.

Is anyone else sick of these people?

Over the last few weeks, it looks like the answer is finally “yes.” A large segment of the population feels it has seen plenty of the Kardashians, and, in fact, they would like to see less of them. When Kim Kardashian flashed America with her nude photos, the response was more “ew” than “ooh,” as if the audience felt somewhat violated. That’s right: the Kardashians have long been stalking America, glaring back at them from every TV set and magazine stand. Now they’ve crossed the line into sexually harassing us. It was as if Americans collectively said, “Kardashians, you have gone too far. We liked your show at first, but now everyone feels uncomfortable and wants you to stop.”

But they’ve already demonstrated that they won't. In fact, they’ll just sink lower: days after Kim’s photos were released, Scott Disick was hospitalized after overdosing on drugs. With all of the 24/7 security guards, TV cameras, and assistants around them, you’d think the Kardashians would notice if someone was harboring a secret addiction. That’s why we should assume that this was no “secret,” and also no accident. It's another carefully staged subplot directed by Kris. We already know Kris Jenner will sell her daughter’s sex tapes and enter them into arranged marriages for attention. There’s no reason to believe she wouldn’t happily kill off an expendable member of the clan with a drug addiction if it meant more headlines. (By the way, Lamar Odom, Khloe’s ex-husband, also developed a “drug addiction” right before the couple split and he left the show.)

The Kardashians aren’t just an attention-seeking, fun-loving reality show family. They’re fame-obsessed and actually sort of evil. Now that they’ve gotten their 15 minutes, America needs to say “time’s up!” and drive them off the air.

Pretzel-crusted pork chops with cheddar mustard sauce

 

File this one under "easier than it sounds."

Pork is one of my favorite foods to work with these days. Not only is it a "lean red meat" (better than ground beef!), it's dirt cheap compared to chicken or beef. I actually adapted this from a Rachael Ray chicken recipe.

For the meat:

4 pork chops

1 5-ounce bag of salted pretzels, any shape

Dried parsley (optional)

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 eggs

Vegetable oil, for frying 

For the sauce:

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons flour

2 cups milk

2 1/2 cups, sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

2  tablespoons spicy brown mustard

Instructions:

1. Chop up pretzels in a food processor, or place in a Ziplock bag and crush.

2. Pound the pork thin, if desired. (You don't have to; however, it will change the cooking time.)

3. Beat the eggs in a shallow dish, and place pretzel crumbs, salt, pepper, and parsley in another dish. Coat the pork chops in egg, then in the pretzel.

4. Fry with vegetable oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Cooking time will vary--for regular pork chops, it's usually 5 minutes on each side. I've found that the pretzel crust burns easily, so be careful.

5. To make the sauce, melt butter, then add in flour. Stir in milk, cheese, and mustard and stir continuously until it's a good consistency.

I served mine with lima beans and a brown rice-quinoa blend, which are both healthy sides.

And one more extreme close-up, brought to you by my husband:

 

The world's best homemade, whole wheat lasagna recipe

Previously on this blog, I promoted recipes with low-fat or reduced-calorie ingredients. Why? I'd never really researched it. I just assumed that less fat=healthier.

It might seem like common sense that fat is bad, but it's wrong, wrong, wrong.

I'm better-educated on nutrition now than when I started this blog. I read The Happiness Diet, which stresses over and over again that "fat is not the enemy." Sugar--including the kind in refined carbohydrates like white bread--is the enemy. If anything, most Americans eat too little fat and way, way too much sugar. Fat is critical for healthy brain functioning, and it keeps you full and satisfied. (Sugar does pretty much the opposite to your brain and body.) Full-fat dairy is a source of Conjugated Linoleic Acid, a fat so important it's sold in pill form as a supplement. (The book's advice: skip the supplements and eat real food.) CLA is critical for brain development and function, and it's a "body fat modulator"--meaning it prevents your body from forming weird fat rolls, especially on your stomach.

With that said, I made one of my favorite fat-laden recipes tonight: lasagna.I actually adapted this from a recipe titled "The world's best lasagna recipe."

Ingredients:

1 pound Italian sausage (I used Bob Evans brand, which comes in a one-pound package)
3/4 pound of ground beef
1/2 cup minced onion
1 tablespoon of minced, bottled garlic (is there a bigger pain in life than mincing garlic by hand? Get the bottled stuff)
28-ounce can of crushed tomatoes
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste
1 15-ounce can of tomato sauce
1/2 cup of water
1 tablespoon white sugar (optional. I avoid adding sugar whenever possible, but 1 tablespoon in the entire batch will equal a minute amount per serving)
1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning blend
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
4 tablespoons dried parsley
12 whole wheat lasagna noodles
32 ounces of whole milk Ricotta cheese
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
12 slices of Mozzarella cheese
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions:
1. Sautee the garlic and onion in a Dutch oven or other large skillet. Add ground beef and sausage and cook until brown.
2. After the meat cooks, stir in the tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce, water, sugar, basil, Italian seasoning, 2 teaspoons salt, pepper, and 2 tablespoons of the parsley.
3. Cook lasagna noodles according to package directions. (I choose not to boil my noodles; they get too mushy. I just soften them in hot water. You can Google other methods of dealing with lasagna noodles without boiling them.)
4. In a bowl, combine Ricotta cheese, egg, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 2 tablespoons parsley.
5. After all of that's done, it's time to layer. First, coat the bottom of a baking dish with the meat sauce. Then form a layer of 6 lasagna noodles. Spread half the Ricotta over the noodles, then 6 slices of Mozzarella. Top with a layer of meat sauce and 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese. Repeat layers again.
6. Cover the baking dish with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

I usually save this recipe for special occasions--the photo below is from my 2-year wedding anniversary. But it's Sunday and lasagna is fun to make, so why not?

More Crockpot fun! Creamy Italian chicken.

So good, it required an extreme close-up.

I'm all for setting aside time to enjoy cooking, but let's face it: some nights, it feels like more trouble than it's worth. If you're trying to resist the call of the drive-thru, you've come to the right place: this recipe is cheap and requires basically no work.

Ingredients:

2-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 cup of Italian dressing (your choice on brand and flavor; I think the bold or "robusto" flavors work best)

1 1/2 cups of mayonnaise

1/3 cup cream cheese

Some people will recoil from this recipe because the mayo and cream cheese are heavy on fat. There's a myth that eating fat makes you fat. It seems like common sense, but it's not true: a calorie from fat is a calorie. And as nutritionists will tell you, eating fat doesn't make you fat--eating too much sugar and refined carbohydrates makes you fat. (I'm not a fan of no-carb diets. Carbs are necessary for basic functioning, but most people eat way too many of them.) This is a healthy recipe, I promise.

Directions:

1. Place chicken breasts in Crockpot. (You can even use frozen breasts, making it even easier.)

2. Stir mayonnaise and Italian dressing together in a bowl and pour into the Crockpot.

3. Cook on low for 5-6 hours. Then add cream cheese and cook another hour.

4. Serve with healthy sides. My pick was Brussels sprouts.

The finished product:

Cilantro lime chicken with black beans and rice

Cilantro lime chicken

I used to be anti-Crockpot, but after seeing this slow cooker chicken recipe in my Mom's Club cookbook, I had to try it. (I modified the recipe a bit to make it my own version.) I invented the black beans and rice recipe on my own.

This was very, very good. Even my husband--who's usually anti-chicken--loved it. My daughter loved the rice and beans, which was great, because she's in that 2-year-old phase where it's hard to get her to eat anything but macaroni and cheese with a side of applesauce. 

You can also make it in the oven, following basically the same instructions in a baking pan and baking for 1 hour.

Ingredients for the chicken:

2-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 cup of sour cream

16 ounce bottle of salsa--your choice of flavor and heat

1 packet of taco seasoning

3 tablespoons lime juice

2 teaspoons cilantro (to taste. I don't like Mexican food when it's overpowered by cilantro.)

Fresh guacamole (optional)

Directions:

1. Stir together salsa, taco seasoning, lime juice, and cilantro in a bowl. Pour some of it into the Crockpot or baking dish--just enough to coat the bottom.

2. Coat chicken with sour cream on both sides and place in the Crockpot.

3. Pour the rest of the salsa mixture over the chicken.

4. For the Crockpot, cook on low for about 5 hours. (Crockpots vary in temperature, so I would start checking it at 4 1/2 hours.) Or bake in the oven at 350 for about an hour. Garnish with extra cilantro and guacamole.

Ingredients for the beans and rice:

1 can of seasoned black beans

1 cup of instant brown rice

1 teaspoon of bottled minced garlic

1 tablespoon of chili powder

1/3 cup of diced green bell peppers

1/2 cup of tomato sauce

Directions:

1. Cook brown rice according to package directions, set aside.

2. Sautee the garlic in a pan until golden. Add black beans and chili powder and cook a few minutes. Add green peppers.

3. When the beans are cooked and the peppers are tender, stir in the rice and tomato sauce. Add salt, pepper, and chili powder to taste. 

That's it. The entire plate will give you a big dose of protein, healthy fat from the avocados, fiber from the beans and rice, and antioxidants from all the spices.

 Guacamole is proof that God exists.

 As my daughter likes to say: "Ooooh!"

Spicy Mongolian beef over brown rice

As I've said on this blog before, I love Chinese food. The only drawback is that it's the most complicated and most expensive ethnic food to make at home. Anyone who's been looking at a 95% full bottle of Sweet Chili Sauce in the refrigerator for the last year knows what I mean. (FYI: Italian food is the cheapest and easiest to make yourself. For this reason alone, I tend to skip Italian restaurants these days.) But this Mongolian beef dish was an exception--it was fast and easy. The meat dish itself has only 240 calories per half cup--but 25 grams of protein. I added brown rice and Asian stir-fry vegetables as healthy sides.

Ingredients:
3/4 to 1 pound of steak, cut into strips (most grocery stores sell pre-cut steak for stir-fry)
1 tablespoon of sesame seeds (optional)
1/3 cup Hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon bottled minced garlic
2 teaspoons sesame oil
crushed red pepper (to taste; I would start with 1/2 teaspoon)
sliced green onions
1 can of sliced water chestnuts (optional)

Directions:
1. In a bowl, combine hoisin sauce, water, garlic, crushed red pepper, sesame oil, and water chestnuts. Set aside.
2. In another bowl, coat steak with sesame seeds.
3. Coat a skillet with cooking spray and cook steak over medium-high heat for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Watch it closely, because it's easy to overcook the meat.
4. Pour sauce over the steak and cook another 2 minutes, until the sauce is slightly reduced. Toward the end, add the green onion. Serve over brown rice!

This is not a "diet" blog

It's been almost 2 years since I wrote my last post here in April 2012. The blog was going great, I was getting tons of positive feedback, and then...I stopped.

Why? One obvious reason is that I had an ever-more-active baby to tend to. (She's now 2 years old!) But the other reason is that, six months after having her, I had lost all the baby weight and then some. I didn't have the motivation to cook "diet" meals anymore.

But then I remembered that this was never meant to be a diet blog. It's a healthy-eating blog--and there's a difference. Last week, Amanda Marcotte wrote an amusing post about US News and World Report's rankings of 32 popular diet fads. Most of these--including supplements, juice cleanses, and the trendy "Paleo" diet--got crap ratings. The only ones that work aren't "diets" at all:

The best-ranked diets sound suspiciously like something your doctor would tell you to embrace, not as a diet, but as general rules for eating to prevent heart disease and diabetes. Indeed, some of the best diets, such as the DASH diet, the TLC diet, or the Mayo Clinic diet weren't developed for weight loss at all. Two were created to help heart patients get healthier, and the Mayo Clinic diet is just general good sense for eating. It seems that US News is trying to trick its readers into giving up fad diets and instead, like a bunch of boring, untrendy, healthy people, just eat right.

Ah, yes--eating right. As Marcotte humorously explains, that's the last thing most people want to try.

 Luckily, Americans will not be fooled. We have an endless appetite for trend diets that promise rapid weight loss through unsustainable and often expensive methods. We will buy up any crap supplement, food additive, or even skin cream that promises that we can lose weight rapidly. This is why, as the New York Times reports Tuesday, the Federal Trade Commission has charged four more companies with deceptive advertising of useless weight loss products—and why 13 percent of fraud claims to the FTC involve weight-loss products, "more than twice the number in any other category."

Once again, this is a healthy eating blog. Although I'm no longer trying to lose weight, I will continue to post healthy dinner recipes that are also fun to make and eat. Welcome back!